Category Archives: Parenting

Turning 40 halfway to death_675

A Man Turning 40

Believe me. This is the 21st draft of the same article.

When you are asked to write a report about some other people / or company stuff, it is (relatively) easy. You just report it. Word by word. That’s it. You are done.

When you ask yourself to write something about your real self, for real, then it takes more than 30 drafts (I still got 9 spare) in order to get it close. Coz it is about YOU, coz it REALLY matters.

About ME. What is that latest about me? Within the past 4 months: I broke my leg. I travelled around the world (literally & physically) (and I’ve promised I will update you about that someday). I almost got killed by DVT. I quitted my job. I lost and then gained some weight. I’ve started a new venture. And I turned 40. All in an assorted order.

Depends on who you are, you might pick up a different focal point, all alarming. Say for example: turning 40. I still remember twelve years back when Jacky Cheung had that movie about Man Turning 40, and I was completely lost. Now I still don’t get those girls that he got in that movie, but I understand the feeling about that life stage.

Another point about quitting my job vs. gaining weight: I have to admit that I had proven the direct positive relationship between the relaxedness (without the crazy and nonsense job) and the weight.

But this is not the point. The point is… I don’t know… I just feel that it is all different now. It has to be different this time. A difficult time. Coz there is no other time. Coz this is 40.

What about 40 anyway? I know. you heard about 80/20 rules? You can apply this to anything. Everything. In this case, so, there is 20 something you can’t and you ain’t gonna control, so it leaves remaining 80 to you. 40 is exactly the half way. And if you draw a bell curve discarding that 20 outliner, then the point of “40” would end up to be placed at the peak.

So, what’s so wrong for being at the peak? Bad News. All things are going downhill from now on. What a shit feeling! So depressing. But you know what? I won’t settle with it. I won’t settle with this feeling. I am looking for something else. Something else from my family. I got my lovely wife, I got Jacob and Chester, and they are doing better than me. And it seems that it is meaningful to work towards them. So the curve goes up again, and again, and again, against the bell curve.

If I extend that logic to the outer world, the direction is that I am caring about the next generation in general . My mission is to enable + empower the next generation to do their best. (For example, let’s stop using Windows / Microsoft for the next generation…)

Suddenly, I feel so good about my future.

Hope you feel the same. Hope you will support me. Please. This is why I started KeptMe. Partly to help the next generation, and partly to save me from going down the depressing side of the bell curve. Tell me how you feel about this. Tell me if you buy in or not. And if you are, please send me your blessing. And if you don’t, please send me your comments. Appreciate it. Million Thanks.

自家製民主教育

我們不需要國民敎育去敎我們愛國。

首先,「國」是沒有得去愛的。我愛的是國家裏的人。使我「自豪」與「感動」的也是國家裏的人,而不是國家本身。國家只是一個繼「家庭」和「氏族」後再推外一個層次的組織,用來方便大家日常行政之集體運作。簡單來說即是用來將一群人分類,然後「載」在一起。打個比喻:一個發錢寒的人只會愛銀包內的錢,而不會太理會那載著錢的銀包吧?

而且,「愛」是沒有得教的。我們只會去愛我們有感情連繫的東西。難道老師們可以就憑要大家背誦十次「美麗河山」便可教曉我們如何去感嘆(還要在公開試答題時感嘆)嗎?

再者,就算是教,也不應是國家去教。現在的國即是黨,亦即是那「出坦克建渣樓毒奶粉禁諫言捉異己」的黨。由他們去教「國家大義」,與找捉走自己的拐子佬去問自己身世一樣搵笨!

我信奉的是存在主義。我相信每一個人都是平等地自然存在。我相信「民主」是要每一個人公平地獲得尊重,而不只是安於談談「投票權」或「反獨裁」便滿足。「領導人」只是一項工作而不是一個地位。而父母也只是孩子的家人而不是擁有人。正所謂「修身、齊家、治國、平天下」,有心要玩天下太平,首要幹的是從自身和自家開始。要對抗地產霸權,先要在家灌輸「家民主」,鏟除家長霸權。

講就易,做就唔知。要試,先引入投票制。有次(如圖)我們一家人決定去哪地方吃晚飯,歡迎大家提名(有去廣東舖吃羊腩煲、有去四川舖吃火鍋、也有在家吃冷飯),也歡迎大家隨意拉票,但真正投票時不可威迫利誘和看風駛艃,而且投票後大家要尊重結果。結果「在家吃冷飯」勝出,是孩子們贏了。我們守信留在家,儘管我們原本的計劃是想要外出。孩子往後也懂用同樣方法決定周末活動爭執減少之餘,參與感亦大大提升。我想,這也算是一點點成功的「民教」吧?

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分割睡覺畫面

Chester 今晚超早睡,放學後洗完澡,五時半便在梳化睡著了!直至現在仍呼呼熟睡。以這樣的走勢,他只會一口氣睡至明早。

但有多早呢?據往績,他絕對有條件於凌晨三時半便龍精虎猛下床走過來找我們玩。折磨我們幾個鐘後再如下圖般睡在我們中間(沒有相,只有插畫,因為從不會在那刻有精神或機會拍照)。

我有先見之明,為了避免最後一步那分割畫面的發生,我便預先與他交換床位來睡。對,人仔細細,三歲的他已睡六呎足本大人單人床了。而且 Jacob 的碌架床上格離地甚高,所以空間充足,睡得也算是寫意。

24之謎

下面貼的是 Jacob 的功課。愚人節那天,老師批了他那個開口「4」。這也不是第一次。試過批「a」不可繞尾,也試過批「東」字腳不可有勾。看見這情景,我當下立時恍然大悟,明白到為何 Jacob 總是那麼怕面對錯失,也常逃避去為歧見溝通。

我簡直有衝動要幫他立即轉校!因為這真的會影響他一生一世,讓他做一世鵪鶉,並保證他能考入名校,做個安分守己的名校高材生!

homework