Category Archives: Parenting

豬嘜智慧

早一陣子再為豬嘜~GMAT 而煩惱。 GMAT Exam 有一個 commonly known 的 tricks, 就是儘力花心機去答對頭數條問題,之後的生活便會順利很多,因為電腦會用頭數條問題的 results 來慢慢 set the stage。之後的 results more or less 是用作 fine tune 之前的分數。就好似若我先天是生於一個有錢家庭,那麼之後我後天的努力(和運氣)只是會使我變成一個更有錢的有錢人or 一個冇咁有錢的有錢人,但不會偏離「有錢人」行列太遠。

其實這種智慧絕對可 apply 在我們的日常生活中。若最初的幾步沒有小心地去經營,之後要收復失地就要費多些力氣。而傳統智慧會說只要努力不懈便仍可闖出生天,但怎樣追也很難趕上 first mover 的優勢。當然,若我果們是在打英超聯,就算有個 bad start 也可以後段發力保住今季不用降班,下季再來努力。但人生並不是英超聯,除非我們相信「來世」這東西,否則對於我們來說人生並沒有「下季」這回事。又或者,很多人生個B出來就是要他/她來打這個「下季」的東西。

Hmm… 似乎我近日很多事也會聯想到 BB 那裏去了….

First Kick

My sweet wife Chris worries about how my boy is slowing down in response. I could only share her feeling by how she describe to me and by showing me her joy with her facial expression. So I can’t tell what it feels like to have a baby inside.

She has been telling the baby to “kick” her or at least to show her some sign to reassure his existence. And he did. I guess he did, because Chris said that she could feel some strange feeling inside, like he is swimming around and turning. It is a very exciting moment. I also feel the joy too, because we can sense a life among us, within us, and as a result of us. The feeling is so great.

老婆唔開心

唔知點解老婆昨晚到現在都唔開心。唔知會不會是工作很困擾。希望她想起Jacob時會可以開心番晒。

她真是很偉大。要bear一個BB是一件很辛苦的過程,而且和她本來的性格並不相合,所以她的付出真的很大。老婆,多謝你。

至於我自己,星期一會是一個關鍵。我覺得如果我這次這件小事也不成功,我也很難令自己相信自己是有能力去做之後的大事。

Give a chance for a life. A new life

30 minutes after I posted my thought, my wife share with me a very deep and touching thought about life (lives).

She said that the whole thing is about how we are giving a chance for another life to get started. It is not about how we need to control that life.

It is like how we are donating a ticket of Disney to a kid for him/her to enjoy (the assumption is that we also have enjoyed our time in Disney ourselves). We think that Disney is a good place to have fun, so we invite another soul to go there and enjoy. We might suggest to them which attraction and games to go for, we might even suggest the sequence and tactics to go for those attraction / games, but we should not be bothered if he/she would walked in the park differently.

Yes, it is a grace from God or who/what ever that we could be part of making the “Life” itself going forward and doing little bits and pieces of enhancement here and there for the whole race. It is like the philosophy of the open source software platform: everybody could, if willing to, have the chance to take part in the progress of the mankind. This feeling is great.

I am gonna be a father

It has been great to have the feeling that I could have the second chance to do what I have done, again, in a better way or not, with the heart, soul, brain and body of my kid. It is a mixed feeling about how in the first place I don’t want to step into the old parenthood style which force the child to replicate their own thought; but on the other hand I do have lots of experiences sitting there trying to jump into his coming unplanned agenda of himself.

I know I hate this if my parent did that on me (practically, my parents didn’t do that on me, or I didn’t allow them to), and so I have to avoid that myself. But after 30+X years of experiences, I really learnt a lot! I really have something to share! And I really hope that my kid won’t waste his time on the same thing that I regretted to waste time for, or hope that my kid would have started something that I missed my chances. I know my parents (especially my dad) should have thought that million times for the past 30 years….

Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why I am so eager to going for being a teacher now. I really would like to learn the way to share my heart, my soul, my brain (but not my body) to other people. And if I know how to do this with a stranger, I am sure I could then do that with my kid. I know my dad is suffering from the inability in doing this. I observed his pain, and I am trying to avoid that. Thanks dad. I have started to know how it is like to be you.

I used to tell a joke about Ferrari. I said that it is not rich enough even if I drive a Ferrari myself. I could really call myself rich if I could give a Ferrari to my kid as his/her birthday present. I now have that feeling. I am still no body even if I could be a successful / good heart / rich / giving / whatever person, until if my kid could become one. I really would like to be a good dad. A real dad. And I need help on that. But I know the strength and effort should be coming from within. For that I could only pray. Thanks God. Thanks Justin.

Believing is Seeing

The boss of my boss’ boss always says this in front of us:

“Seeing is Believing” is not correct, because it should be “Believing is Seeing”.

I always thought this is a stupid slogan, just to push us to make silly commitment to our works. Today, I finally feel the meaning of it.

This evening I was discussing the topic #2 of my New Year Resolution with my wife. I told her that I had a good feeling to have kids and family after watching the movie “The Incredibles“, but I still have doubt about how we could really make it happens. With that feeling in mind, I could not say a firm yes.

Then my wife said the following, which I found very stunning to myself, although it sounds so normal and so logical. She said: “we should not always confirm our target after we know how we could achieve the target. Instead, we should examine the intended result, and if we believe we would enjoy the result, then we should firstly confirm the target, and then think of how we could achieve the target.”

It is all very true. Sometimes I spent so long to perform the “feasibility study” before I confirm whether I should move forward or not, until it is too late to confirm. If I could believe in what I am going to see, then eventually I would some how make myself seeing it. If on the other hand I have to stand still until the stage that I am able to see it first, it is meaningless to ask myself to believe in it anymore, coz any how I am already there, no matter if I believe it or not.